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10 June 2008 @ 08:54 am
*headdesk*  
Smoking linked to hearing loss

Apparently, as well as causing cancer, premature ageing, anti-social behaviour and nuclear war, smoking makes you deaf and causes dementia. Obesity also causes deafness (in addition to heart disease, ugliness, excessive masturbation and Islamic fundamentalism).

"A separate research project involved more than 5,000 civil servants, who completed memory and reasoning tests and then repeated them five years later.

It found that smoking in middle age was linked to a decline in memory and verbal reasoning ability."


Or maybe, just maybe, GETTING OLDER causes a decline in memory and verbal reasoning as your synapses activate with more difficulty and your BRAIN CELLS DIE. Or maybe being a civil servant causes dementia. I've been on this planet for two decades now and have yet to establish exactly what a 'civil servant' is or does.

Next week: Researchers at Nottingham University find a 'convincing link' between smoking and badly written internet porn.

I'll stop reading BBC News now, I promise.
 
 
Current Location: my bedroom
Chemical Level: enragedoh for the love of fuck
Aural Sedation: Sweeney Todd OST - Epiphany